Parenting today is difficult.
We can spend all day pointing out the reasons parenting in this generation is so hard.
We can point at social media, TV, movies, Hollywood, school systems, government, even the church.
But honestly, we need to be pointing at ourselves.
Parenting today is difficult because parents are not taking a stand.
We have decided to let the world around us dictate how we raise our children.
And I am here to say that it is time to take a stand.
But how?
Or why? And where do we even begin?
As a fellow mom of five children, I am right there with you and all of the above questions.
We must take a stand in our parenting in order to leave a legacy.
We want our children to pass onto their children who pass onto their children a story of life, forgiveness, and doing what is right.
I too have made mistakes. I too need grace in this parenting journey.
But I am not going to stand down.
So will you join me? Let’s get started.
STEP 1
TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING
Communication is absolutely key.
One of our communication goals should be that our children want to come to us when things are tough, hard, or just plain wrong.
In order for our children to come to us, we need to build their trust by spending time with them and showing them that we have their best interests at heart.
Then, we need to let them talk and not interrupt. And most importantly, not freak out!
If our children come to us in their tween and teen years and all we do is push our agenda or go ballistic at their ideas, our kids are going to stop coming to us for advice.
The lines of communication will close, and this is where the real trouble begins.
Our children will hide their really big, tough life choices and decisions.
I know that I want to be right there with my kids as they make big life decisions.
But this is not going to just happen.
Keep the lines of communication open,
Let every discussion – sex, porn, clothes, TV, movies, sports stars, friends, and life choices – be open and out on the table.
Do not give anyone the chance to sweep it under the rug.
Keep the line of communication WIDE OPEN.
STEP 2
STOP MAKING EXCUSES
And do not start by making an excuse for why you make excuses.
This is huge.
We complain about our kid’s behavior, about their choices, about their decisions. Then, we stand back and make excuses for why they did this or that.
What???
It is absolutely ludicrous.
It is time to stop complaining and stop making excuses.
In order for our children to be successful members of society, they are going to have to work hard. They are going to be disappointed. They are going to make mistakes. They are going to need to ask forgiveness. And sometimes, they are going to have to learn things the hard way.
If we as parents step in every time our children need help, then they are not going to learn how to stand on their own two feet.
We need to be discerning with the amount of assistance we offer our children. While they are living under our roof, we want them to make mistakes and fall down. Why??
Because we are right there to pick them up, help them see a better way, and truly teach them how to live.
The next time that you find yourself complaining about your child. STOP. And think of a way that together you and your children can turn the situation around.
Learn from one another and support one another.
STEP 3
BE A COACH
As a parent, we cannot be a dictator.
Yes, we have the right to make the boundaries and the rules. And we certainly should exercise that right.
But we also have to be a coach.
Think about an Olympic athlete.
Their coach did not just say “Good luck out there. I hope you figure it out.”
No, they trained for years. Their coach was right beside them teaching them how to do their certain skills better every day.
As parents, we too are coaches. We are training our kids.
And this role as coach never ends.
There is alway some supportive coaching role we can play in the lives of our children.
As toddlers, we are coaching them on right and wrong behavior. We are coaching them on how to interact with the world around them.
As elementary-aged kids, we are coaching our kids on how to make friends, how to be polite, and how to show respect to others.
As tweens, we are coaching our kids on their bodies, the opposite sex, and making good choices.
As teens, we are in true coach mode! This is the crucial stage where our coaching role is the most important. We are coaching our kids on how to navigate the ever-changing landscape of society.
As adults, we are still coaching our children as they raise their own children.
This role as coach is critical. And it starts when our kids are young and continues throughout their lives.
Modeling, teaching, and living out your core beliefs is the most effective method of coaching our children.
STEP 4
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN
This is one area that I really see parents struggle (myself, included!)
We have to stop being scared of saying no.
It is our responsibility to foster a safe and loving environment for our children.
You (not me, your friends, or anyone else) knows what is best for your own kids.
Do not let anyone shame you into thinking they know what is better for your kids.
They do not!
So put your foot down and say no to everyone giving you advice.
Put your foot down and say no and stick to your answer when one of your children is going against your rules.
If you can make the rules, then you can enforce the rules.
Children that are living under our roof are our responsibility.
Do not take it lightly.
When your foot is down, keep it there!
THE FINAL STEP THAT PUTS IT ALL TOGETHER:
HAVE TANGIBLE GOALS
Tangible goals are goals that we can work towards step by step.
If our goal is to raise Godly children, we must have steps to get there.
Tangible steps that we can work towards.
Goal setting is by far the most effective way to see our dreams and hopes come true.
When we have direction, everything falls into place.
Are you ready to start making some tangible goals for parenting?
I would love to help you on this journey!
Click here to receive my FREE guide to creating parenting goals.
You do not want to miss this!
It makes parenting so much easier and more intentional.
I want us to grow together on this journey. Be sure to click here to receive your FREE guide!
